i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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