I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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