Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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