So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
