Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
