Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
