i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
