thus making me awesome and them whores
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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