I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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