Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
cat food counts as protein by the way
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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