Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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