Just mADE A PArabola og urine
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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