It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
