she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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