People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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