Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
