After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Enjoy the penises
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
