I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
