found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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