she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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