I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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