If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
