Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
