HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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