just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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