it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
