He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
