wat bout pragnant strippers??
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
