whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
