i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
