Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
