we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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