Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
