I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
