More tranny stories later!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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