Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Acid is not a monday night drug
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
