if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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