He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
