Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
