I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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