I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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