I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
