I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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