I only kidnapped one of them. chill
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
