Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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