I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
