Say something about gay babies.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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