Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
do herpes really smell.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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