sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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