Sponge bath it is.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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