I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
