if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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