dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
