Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
