you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
