I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
