I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
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Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
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Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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