I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
